Australia / England

It’s a fine line between love and hate for David Warner

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Photo by Sarah Ansell

You’ll of course remember when David Warner took a swing at Joe Root after becoming inexplicably incensed by the Yorkshireman’s inappropriate use of a wig.

Halcyon days. There was at least something comical about this particular confrontation; a certain Scrappy Doo quality borne of Warner’s diminutive stature and the sheer ludicrousness of the supposedly inflammatory act. It’s not quite like that this time around.

Fortunately, Warner’s still around to bring a note of levity to proceedings.

The Guardian reports that he’s been pondering how to get “up” and also how to get on top of England’s players. Counterintuitively, he says the mechanism for achieving these ends is to muster hatred.

“How can I dislike this player? How can I get on top of him?” he said. “You have to delve and dig deep into yourself to actually get some hatred about them to actually get up when you’re out there.”

Thank you David for another puzzling window into your psyche.

Similar deliveries:

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20 comments

  2. I love playing that game where you take a statement, often bland and inoffensive, and substitute one word or name for another (word processors are great for this, delve for the “Replace All”) so that the whole thing changes utterly in meaning. For example, take an extract of Harry Potter but replace “wand” by “wang”. Hilarity results.

    What’s great about Warner’s statement is you don’t even need to change anything.

    1. Alternatively, this being David Warner, you could change everything and not leave it any more nonsensical.

    1. Who’s in charge of the placement of this line? Will you cross it? Or tip-toe right up to it and punch it in the face while in a Birmingham nightclub?

    2. The lack of Aussie explanations about how Warner knows when not to cross the line between the good kind of hate and the bad kind has been most disappointing.

  4. In more important news, Paul Nixon is back at Leics.

    As head coach, but he could probably come back as a player and improve them.

  5. Apropos only to the Ashes and stuff, I heard this Susan Calman broadcast (from last week) this afternoon and thought that many of you would enjoy it. It’s BBC with 22 days to go, so a little tricky (though I am reliably informed not insurmountably so if you are techie enough) for those outside the UK:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0717j1y

    Enjoy.

    1. Radio generally works outside the UK, unless it’s really big live sports events, like Wrexham playing a club I’ve never heard of, or Middlesex vs the MCC. I suppose it’s football in general, and the Middlesex thing wasn’t on purpose. Your link works fine, as I am sure you’ll be thrilled to know. Thanks.
      Also, I suppose David Warner has gotten bored of being all grown-up and boring already.

      1. Are you a Wrexham fan, Fried? If so, the live match threads on Red Passion often include links to radio coverage (as well as a general description of which particular player has just missed an easy chance, updated by people who are at the game but for some reason seem to be constantly on their phones instead of watching).

      2. Indeed thrilled to know that everyone can hear that broadcast link. Even Daisy enjoyed it, although she claims not to like radio comedy.

        The match that Susan Calman attended, btw, was the same 2015 Lord’s match as the famous Johnny Friendly lavatory/real tennis etiquette dilemma incident:

        https://www.kingcricket.co.uk/england-v-australia-at-lords-day-three-match-report/2016/04/18/

        I think on balance I’d prefer a day at cricket with Daisy rather than with Susan Calman, but that’s just my opinion.

      3. Thank you, A P. I don’t actually follow the football, it’s just something I run into when I leave BBC Radio Wales running on a Saturday afternoon. It seems a bit random what matches you can listen to and which you can’t, maybe it’s just a case of whoever is in charge remembering to push the button.

        Maybe I should get one of those smart phone type thingies. It might be a life-changing experience.

  7. When I read the Guardian article I thought it literally vindicated your piece about being an arsehole giving Warner special powers.
    Such a shame though, I was discussing with a mate on the weekend about how Warner had seemingly matured then this piece arrived, confirming that he is in fact a massive twunt.

  8. It will be lovely if he falls in a lot of cold water as the result of hot air on thin ice.

    PS. Will there be Ashes highlights (if any) on any non BT channel.? I think I might cancel my subscription.

    PS. Clarke and Warner are both odious.

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