Welcome to the Annual Man Repeller Gift Guide! As you may know, we love throwing a theme party that moonlights as gift-giving advice around here, and this year’s theme is “horoscopes.” It’s a timely celebration of the 2010s’ primary source of digital catnip, but also an excuse to create TWELVE highly personalized gift vignettes for your shopping pleasure. Tuesday you saw gifts for fire signs, yesterday gifts for earth signs, and today, air signs are up. So now I’ll hand the mic over to astrological aficionado Sarah Panlibuton Barnes who is far more qualified to wax poetic on the stars and their plans for your presents. —Harling Ross
Every sign has a role to play in the grand orchestral movement of celestial influence. There are those that light the fires, and those that put them out when they get too wild. There are those that counsel patience when we all need to slow down, and those who dare us to jump whether we’re ready or not. During the holiday season we are especially aware of all the different influences and perspectives that exist in the world and that, at least for the duration of one dinner or one holiday party, must exist in the same room. Luckily for us, there is a special group of humans astrologically predisposed to help this miracle of connection happen.
As air signs, Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius are the astrological communicators of the zodiac. They are the signs most likely to lean into compromise and make space for all sides to be heard. Translation: Every time Uncle Bernie starts talking to cousin Lou and her girlfriend Lynn about the state of this country, send in your most even-keeled Libra, your most curious Aquarius, or your most effervescent Gemini to defuse the situation. Or send in all three and hope for the best because Uncle Bernie is an old blowhard and honestly he is one opinion about bathroom laws away from catching these hands. ANYWAY.
Air signs are working overtime right now facilitating the hell out of challenging dynamics. Show them some love with objects that surprise and delight them. Libras love beauty and balance, so lavish them in things that would make a duchess ask where your Libra shops. Gemini is the sign of connection, so shower this social butterfly in tools to keep the party going through a sub-zero winter. Aquarius is the air-sign elder, wise, eccentric, and charming, you just need to worry about keeping their attention. This may sound like a tall order, but MR knows just what you need.
At family gatherings, you get an intergenerational room full of people with all their distinct hangups and soapboxes and you just never know what will come to the surface. This could be the Christmas where all the light-hearted remarks you’ve made about your family come back to bite you when mommy has too many sangrias. For example, you could arrive at the family home only to find that your mom let it slip that one time you said that your cousin’s wife looks like she could be his twin sister and that you reckon people are freaked out when they see them kiss in public. If you (understandably) double-down and suggest that one of them should dye their eyebrows or something, all hell could break loose! In times like these, you better hope you have a Libra in the family. The peace-keepers of the zodiac, Libra wants harmony above almost everything else. Except maybe diamonds. And gold. And expensive perfumes featuring rare oils that can only be obtained from the glands of some small furry creature in France. You see, Libra is ruled by Venus, and she craves symmetry and beauty in relationships, as well as in her worldly surroundings.
Honor that impulse with this aesthetically titillating vase from the MoMa Design store, and these perfect tartan loafers. And/or encourage your Libra to indulge in their weakness for the luxurious side of life with this set of extra silky chocolate bars, this Buly 1803 body lotion (which is so artisanal and fancy you can have your Libra’s name added to the handwritten label) paired with these La Manso rings and these effortlessly chic bracelets that will highlight Libra’s artisanally hydrated hands. Offer it to your beloved in this satin tote and you win the holidays. Congratulations.
In the world of Aquarius, this cold weather and the omnipresent festive jingles on the radio can be the messenger of delight or the harbinger of doom depending on whether your water-carrier is surrounded by people that fill them up. Aquarius is all about the eccentric, the fascinating, the cutting edge. They love people, but sometimes in that distant, benevolent alien way. As you would imagine, holiday parties full of meaningless chatter and materialism make them want to blast right out of their bodies. If you’re in the market for objects that will delight an Aquarius in your life, the most important thing to remember is that Aquarius hates to be bored and loves a higher purpose.
To keep the interest of your Aquarius, offer them objects that are unique and that elicit a second look. Take this Tory Burch phone case that looks like it might also be a wee purse for example. Or this unusual table lamp from the MoMa design store that probably looks like an enchanted glowing egg from far away. If your Aquarius must go to events that could plausibly be boring, gift them with this charming LoveShackFancy cardigan and this eye-catching bracelet and pin combo so that people will be so distracted by the things they’ve wrapped their limbs in that they won’t even consider talking about the weather. (Bonus points: A portion of the proceeds from the purchase of the bracelet and the pin go to worthy causes.) After the party, send your beloved water bearer home to a relaxing bath with these uplifting SOUL bath bombs and these combs that double as the prettiest art-things that have ever distributed your scalp oils, guaranteed.
Oh, what’s that you say? A time of year where there are too many parties to count and everyone is almost required to turn sequin-centric looks? You can count Gemini TF in. The weather may be gloomy, but nothing can dampen a Gemini’s spirits during such a social season. If you ever find yourself curled up on your couch, space heaters purring, enjoying a hot toddy, and gazing out the snow battered window to wonder, Who could possibly be out partying in this arctic blastero-vortex snow-tornado? Let me tell you that somewhere, on the other side of town, there is a Gemini wearing gaiters and layer upon layer of waterproof smart-down, making it fashion, and trudging to the season’s hottest event.
Help the Gemini in your life dazzle despite the meteorological constraints with these glittering earrings and this glitzy bag. Don’t forget a chic pair of sunglasses, because haven’t you heard of snow blindness? If your Gemini is considering avoiding frostbite and throwing the party of the ages in their own home, get them this Kate Spade cocktail set. Also, this Orange Surprise Ball is the best present you could possibly give a Gemini. Apparently, this toy-that-you-destroy by slowly unfurling this paper orange was originally used to tell one’s life story as the ball comes undone. If this doesn’t tickle your Gemini’s chatty fancy, I don’t know what will. Bonus: There is a sweet trinket inside to remember the gift by. Finally, even though gemini does tend to hate being alone, help them lean into some solo self-care with this Saturday Skin potion and this candle that smells like roses in the rain.
Come back tomorrow for our final installment: water signs!