Well, I’ve very suddenly developed an interest in, and knowledge of Stuart Matsikenyeri. Didn’t see that coming.

We’re not sure a comment on this site has ever featured better subheadings or more comprehensive research. Sure, comments don’t normally feature subheadings, but we hope you’ll take that as a compliment anyway.

You make a compelling and comprehensive case.

#9: He never settled in at number 8, his four matches there yielding just 27 runs.

#8: The number five slot, where in 23 matches he scored 387 runs @ 18.42, bolstered by an excellent top-scoring 73* that brought his team to tie the famous world cup match against Ireland.

#7: Not entirely comfortable against the new ball, his 21 matches coming in at number one led to 407 runs @ 19.38. But he did score a half-century against the mighty Bangladesh in their home fortress of Bangabandhu National Stadium, Dhaka.

#6: He did somewhat better at number two, with 215 runs @ 19.54 in 11 matches. This includes 73 against England at Bulawayo in 2004 and 75 against Bangladesh in Mirpur in 2006.

#5: His three innings at number four (ave 21.00) included a vital half-century against Kenya at the Nairobi Gymkhana, helping his team recover from 2/2 to complete the chase.

#4: Coming in at first drop, a respectable 201 runs @ 20.10 in 10 matches. The highlight was 90 against Kenya at Mobassa.

#3: The position he spent most time in was number six, with 635 runs in 28 matches @ 27.60. Includes a match-winning 89 in a tight victory over Bangladesh at Harare.

#2: One innings at number 10, one not-out run, a batting average that is technically better than whatever Bradman would have made if he’d play in ODIs (and got out at some point).

#1: Taking responsibility for his team in the vital number seven slot, with half-centuries against the Windies and South Africa, saw him score 269 runs at an excellent 33.62. He also managed his best strike rate in this position, a Bradmanesque 99.26.

TWO BATTING POSITIONS IN INTERNATIONAL CRICKET ETERNALLY BLEMISHED BY NOT HAVING PLAYED HOST TO STUART MATSIKENYERI:

Number 11. Apparently he was too good for it, but tell that to Wilfred Rhodes or Ashton Agar.

Number 9. Did some idiotic selector mistakenly believe he was insufficiently versatile? After all, you can play Stuart Matsikenyeri as a specialist spinner too.

STUART MATSIKENYERI’S WHITE WRECKING BALL OF DOOM TOP TEN COUNTDOWN:
#10: a battling 9-0-62-1 that saw off Graeme Smith and helped restrict the Saffers to 301/7 in Johannesburg 2005.
#9: a stirring 3-0-31-1 which stumped Marlon Samuels, in Bulawayo 2003.
#8: a handy 4-0-18-1 against England featuring the wicket of Paul Collingwood, in Harare 2004.
#7: an executed 2-0-15-1 that grabbed the wicket of Sri Lankan top-scorer Upul Tharanga at the 2006 Champions Trophy.
#6: a sterling 10-0-29-1 that helped restrict Sri Lanka to 152 all out before yet another Murali rescue job, in Harare, 2008.
#5: a bracing 10-0-43-2 against England, with Solanki and Bell the only wickets of the former colonial overlords to be snared in the match, in Bulawayo, 2004.
#4: an identikit 10-0-43-2 against the world-class Aussies, helping restrict them to 323/8 while humbling Darren Lehmann and Ian Harvey, in Harare, 2004.
#3: a KP-felling 10-1-35-2 that showed right-arm spinners can do it too, in Bulawayo, 2004.
#2: a mighty 5-0-25-2 that couldn’t quite stop Bangaldesh squeaking home by 1 wicket in Chittagong, 2009.
#1: the devastating 10-0-33-2 that rocked Michael Vaughan and Andrew Strauss in Harare, 2004.

STUART MATSIKENYERI’S ULTIMATE HUMBLED BUNNIES:

The who’s who list of renowned batsmen have fallen to Stuart Matsikenyeri includes Graeme Smith, Darren Lehmann, Kevin Pietersen, Kumar Sangakkara, Paul Collingwood, Michael Vaughan, JP Duminy, Shakib Al Hasan, Marlon Samuels, Vikram Solanki, Upul Tharanga, Ian Harvey and Mushfiqur Rahim.

But Matsikenyeri’s Bunny Di Tutti Bunnies is Andrew Strauss, dismissed twice in England’s 2004 tour.

STUART MATSIKENYERI’S TWO LEGENDARY ODI MAIDENS:

5th ODI, Zim vs SL at Harare, 29 Apr 2004. The 32nd over of the Sri Lankan innings sees six balls to Thilina Kandamby (remember him? I remember thinking of him as the kind of cricketer who should really have been playing for Pakistan) with no runs conceded. This softened Kandamby up so that he could be dismissed by talismanic Zimbo wicketkeeper-batsman-captain Tatenda Taibu, who somehow found the time to bowl 10-1-42-2.

4th ODI, Zim vs Eng at Bulawayo, 5 Dec 2004. Geraint Jones faces in the 27th over of the England innings, and Matsikenyeri executes six dot balls. Did Jones ever recover? He now plays his international cricket for Papua New Guinea, in which capacity he was recently dismissed for 7 against Italy and 3 against Nepal. The moral of this story is never let Stuart Matsikenyeri bamboozle you with six balls of gently offspinning goodness or the gradual build-up of psychological pressure will destroy your top-flight cricketing career. Alternatively, having survived six consecutive deliveries of Matsikenyeri magic, perhaps you are finally qualified to vanquish one of the greatest sides ever and win an MBE for it. In this case, morally, at least 5% of that MBE belongs to Stuart Matsikenyeri for his vital training role.

Good call; he seems to be on the outer now though. It was always bizarre how crap he was in tests and 98.5% of the ODI’s and T20’s he played. I watched him bat in the domestic 4-day compitition a few times, and he always looked a genuine good quality batsman.

First 25 ODIs (to 5th ODI Zim vs SL, 29 Apr 2004):
245 runs @ 11.66, strike rate 58.19, high score 44
1 wicket @ 96.0, economy 6.85, strike rate 84.0, BBI 1/31

First 50 ODIs (to 5th ODI Zim vs Ban, 6 Aug 2006):
836 runs @ 18.57, strike rate 64.30, high score 89
11 wickets @ 57.27, economy 5.20, strike rate 66.0, BBI 2/33

First 75 ODIs (to 1st ODI, Zim vs SL, 20 Nov 2008):
1443 runs @ 21.11, strike rate 71.29, high score 89
13 wickets @ 51.00, economy 5.24, strike rate 58.3, BBI 2/33

First 100 ODIs (to 2nd ODI, Ban vs Zim, 29 Oct 2009):
2054 runs @ 23.07, strike rate 72.70, high score 90
14 wickets @ 52.00, economy 5.07, strike rate 61.4, BBI 2/33

Career to date (112 ODIs to 3rd ODI, NZ vs Zim, 9 Feb 2012):
2205 runs @ 22.05, strike rate 72.31, high score 90
16 wickets @ 48.62, economy 5.07, strike rate 57.5, BBI 2/25

Absolute legend.

I remember pointing out to a fellow cricinfo livescore addict at uni back in late 2006 that I was perplexed why he was opening for Zimbabwe for their series in Bangladesh. At that stage his previous 56 matches had brought him a batting average of 17.90 and a bowling average of 50.38, but there he was at the top of the order. He proved the naysayers wrong, naturally – a respectable knock of 27 off 39 balls brought his average back above 19, and it’s a shame he didn’t get a chance to destroy Bangladesh with his economical offspin before they had wrapped up a nine wicket win.

I was worried he might disappear from the face of the cricketing world, but he was still opening for his country in 2012 and as he’s still a fairly young man (born 1983) I hope to see him back where he belongs soon enough.

James Franklin has been suggested via Twitter.