Comments on: Batsmen not allowed runners in international cricket

By: Bert

Bert — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 11:10:16 +0000

This thread gets better and better. You’ve given me a new idea:

A runner shall be allowed, but only if it is someone who thinks the batsman he is running for is a pompous oaf who needs bringing down a peg or two.

What you have to imagine here is, as an example, King Cricket running for Matthew Hayden. I’d pay double.

By: Rocket Hat

Rocket Hat — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 09:10:16 +0000

In a school game when I was 12, I came on as a runner for an older boy. The bastard made a century, and I must have run at least 70 of those runs. In the Indian heat. With adult-sized pads. And not a word of appreciation at the end of the innings.

I wonder to this day why I didn’t run him out before he crossed 10.

By: Bert

Bert — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 09:54:43 +0000

In reply to alphamonkey. Eats a cabbage? Are you insane? Who would even think of such a thing?

By: Keshto

Keshto — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 09:43:16 +0000

In reply to alphamonkey. What if he eats the Cabbage? is the runner disqualified?

By: Bert

Bert — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 08:20:04 +0000

In reply to alphamonkey.

Cabbages.

Just like on Double or Drop. For each run the runner makes he is given a cabbage which he has to carry for the rest of his tenure. Then a new Law is introduced:

Law 98 – Out Dropping a Cabbage
If a batsman has a designated runner, as allowed under one of the other rules somewhere in here, Law 19 or something like that, you can look it up, that batsman shall be given out if the runner while out of his ground drops one of the cabbages. Law 67 (Allowable Salad Dressings) shall continue to apply.

By: King Cricket

King Cricket — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 07:28:27 +0000

In reply to alphamonkey. The bizarre thing about that idea is that it would please everybody. We get comedy, but batsmen won't take advantage of runners unjustifiably. And fat people love being made into figures of fun.

By: John

John — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 00:31:47 +0000

They can have a runner, so long as it’s me. They’ll soon change their minds…

By: alphamonkey

alphamonkey — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 00:10:49 +0000

I think runners should go a step further into amateurishness. Have a pair of weighing scales bethwart the turnstiles as spectators enter. In the event of injury, the batsman may ask for a runner, but it will be the fattest person in the crowd. Or Samit Patel.

By: King Cricket

King Cricket — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 12:58:30 +0000

In reply to Deep Cower. Oh, it makes a lot of LOGICAL sense. But runners are funny.

By: Deep Cower

Deep Cower — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 12:53:50 +0000

Why is this bad? Running is an important component of batting, and it is the batsman’s responsibility to do it. Given the hectic schedule, it is inevitable that many batsmen pick up injuries and might still be tempted to play, banking on a runner after they have scored a few runs. There is no way to tell if a player cramped up during batting or whether he merely aggravated an existing injury.

Also the sight of runners in cricket has become altogether common. I don’t remember anyone running for Gavaskar or Richards. As it is batsmen have short boundaries, field restrictions, fuck-all pitches, and crazy-strong bats. Let the assholes do their own running at the least. Or get the hell out of the ground. I applaud the ICC.