I have a dreadful feeling that your Vitality Blast branded biscuit might have in fact been a reusable coffee cup mat. An easy mistake to make once, Sam, but not twice.

I have come face-to-face with Paul McCartney – at Lord’s (The Home Of Cricket) as it happens – and can report that my response was far from gormless…but then I don’t suppose I fall into your definition of “normal people”.

I have done more circuits of Edgbaston than I could estimate and have, to date, been able to avoid projectile vomit. But Blast Finals Day is a long day, so I suspect you were venturing behind the Hollies at or beyond the witching hour. All in the call of duty for this match report, I suppose – brave, Sam, brave.

Possibly. More likely a visceral reaction to Somerset’s batting.

Do you think the vomiting was induced by one of the biscuits, Sam?