What happens if England win now? Half a cassette each to Haviland and His Maj?

Nothing in particular. But give it time. Something will come up soon.

Any particular injustice in mind there, Sam?

Or is that merely an “every ball incantation”?

Give him out! Give the dirty get out! Get him off the field! That were diabolical! Get him off the field! That’s just typical Aussies! Get him walking! They don’t like it! Walk him, Dharmasena, if you’ve got any bottle! If you’ve got any bottle, Dharmasena, he should walk! That were absolute diabolical! He’s give him not out. I can’t spake. You bottle-less get, Dharmasena. You dickhead. You bottle-less get. I can’t spake.

Australia.

Sorry. I really want that cassette.

He’s the best full-time part-time spinner in the world! Never mind anybody else!

Shove that up your arse, Clarkey!

Engerlaaaaand!

England

Someone scores runs: “Move him up the order!”
Someone doesn’t score runs: “Drop him!”

I remember that gig, Ged. We blew the roof off with ‘When Love Breaks Down’ if I remember correctly. Kane Gang were notoriously flaky. The singer had a penchant for tuna in brine and some nights would eat a multi pack and the next day would be a write off. It wasn’t the last time we saved their asses.

Glad you listened to us on the way to Durham. Next time you are up this way do the secret knock (three knocks) on Andromeda Height’s purple door and we will have a brew.

Sadly I don’t tour these days. I’ve told everyone my hearing is shot but really I can’t be arsed. I just like lying down and counting the royalties from that hotdog jumping frog song and eating cornbeef and horeradish baps.