India

How much is a DLF maximum worth?

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DLF Minimum

Technically, it’s worth six runs, because it’s how sixes have been branded in the IPL – but that’s not our point. (We’ve made a polite enquiry about sponsoring thick-edged singles down to third man, incidentally. The King Cricket Thick-Edged Single Down to Third Man highlights reel would be a show-stopper and no mistake.)

Anyway: sixes. What’s a six worth these days? Our point is that philosophically-speaking, there’s a finite amount of excitement in a cricket match and you can’t increase that simply by having more of something.

Today’s sixes are leg-byes down to fine leg in old money. They’re commonplace and increasingly easy to ignore. They need context. A bacon butty and a cup of tea never tasted so good as when we got back from six months in India.

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22 comments

  1. The high points are a clean bowling, a caught and bowled, a stumping or a fab fielding run out. Have sixes ever eclipsed those?

    Strangely these do not have sponsorship as they can be a/ rare and b/ always exciting.

  2. You’d have to pay through the nose if you sponsored the thick-edged single down to third man – a better bet is the King Cricket Classical Cover Drive.

  3. I’ll put my money on the edged stroke that somehow misses the wicket, the wicket keeper and any stray fielders on the way to the boundary, causing massed and furious teapots from the fielding side

  4. I really should wait until the official announcement, but I think I can give you a sneak preview. I’ve been in discussions with Lalit Modi over recent months about a new form of cricket, one that does away with all the tedium of twenty-twenty. It’s going to be called – 6Six6 – (see what I’ve done with the numbers / words thing).

    The idea is based on the “fact” that sixes are the only thing that cricket fans like these days (as Lal was telling me). When you combine that “fact” with another one, that there are six balls in every over, you begin to see the start of a marketing idea.

    The rules are these. The only way to score will be to hit a six, or a “Imodium Extra Strength Maximum”, as it will be called. Each batsmen will be given six opportunities per over to hit a “Imodium Extra Strength Maximum”. If he is “out”, that ball is immediately called a no-ball. If he fails to hit a “Imodium Extra Strength Maximum”, another delivery is added on to the over to give him another chance. If this happens more than twice in an over, the bowler will be made to bowl underarm full tosses until the over is complete.

    (Everyone remembers that Garfield Sobers hit 36 from one over, an unfogettable event for any cricket fan. A nice by-product of 6Six6 is that this happens in each and every over, making every last one unforgettable.)

    Each team will have six players, which is a coincidence. Lal and I have anticipated that because of our unique scoring system, every match will be very, very, very close. Close matches are the second best thing in cricket (after sixes), and we feel we have identified a unique way to give cricket fans exactly what they want.

  5. I’ve decided I’m defecting to watching bowls – surely Lalit Modi can’t find a way of cheapening that…

  6. Presumably batsmen will earn a rating based on how much better than Garry Sobers they are.

    If a batsman completes two overs of sixes, he would have a rating of two million because he is two times as good as Sobers.

    You put the six noughts on to make it seem better still.

  7. You seem to have got the hang of this completely, KC. You can have the single most important job in all of cricket – Vice President of Vertically Integrated Global Market Quality Developising Solutions.

  8. We were only hoping for Senior Vice President of Global Market Channel Development Solutions Across All Verticals, so this is an incredible honour.

  11. If you’re a cool individual who can think for himself and who is interested in becoming part of the great new IPL franchise family of subscriber-based individuals who understand that in today’s modern world, IPL can be a part of your life, bring you new friends, and change your outlook, and who is keen to experience the wide range of IPL-related products designed to enhance your life, then welcome to our demographic.

    If, on the other hand, you’re just enjoying it, then no.

  13. I would like to see the old schoolyard rule of ‘6 and out’ introduced into 20/20 cricket. To see these over pampered baseballers unable to clear the front leg and pump it out of the ground without being dismissed would be beautiful.

  14. Bert, this sounds an awful lot like what we used to do at nets once the captain had had his bat and gone home and the bowlers were bored of thundering in at the U15 who’d chosen that week to practise his leave. Does anyone ever bowl with their “wrong” arm in your new game? If so, I would like to offer my services in a consultancy role. My left arm over is truly something to behold.

  15. Tim, I should warn you that 6Six6TM CricketTM is a trademark of Six6SixCricketTM LtdTM, Stanford Drive, Antigua, and that any game that you may or may not have played once cannot be described as being “an awful lot like” 6Six6TM CricketTM without formal permission from ourselvesTM. In fact, by admitting that you played the game once, you now stand liable for a hindsight royalty charge. The fact that people have played a particular version of cricket for decades but without the marketing must not detract from the idea that we invented it, own it, and can charge what the fuck we like for it.

  17. If ithe ball cleared the boundary and also hit a batty bat on the way, that should count double as they are crafty little buggers – they look like they’re going to get in the way, and then – woosh – they’re off.
    There were four of them around the wicket during Murali’s last over yesterday. Perhaps that’s why he delivered 3 wides.
    Those bats and the three dogs on the outfield made up the indifferent animal quota and were the true highlights of the game….
    And also what appeared to be Herchelle Gibbs’ brain juice leaking out from under his helmet in the 16th over.

  19. Bert,

    Please accept my sincere apologies. In light of this transgression, please reduce my consultancy fee to just £1.2m.

    Ta.

  20. If we were to pay that much to you, Tim, we wouldn’t have enough money to give to the local clubs, and many of them would go to the wall.

    Done. Cheap at twice the price.

  21. What an incredible………….

    “Ged Ladd & Co futile swipe at the ball which would have been hit into the neighbouring county were it not for the fact that the batsman missed the ball by a good six inches”……………

    DOT BALL

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