When I was forty-three I had a splendid match too;

https://ianlouisharris.com/2006/07/30/tufty-stackpole-v-the-childrens-society-north-crawley-cc-match-report-30-july-2006/

Top match reporting, Bert.

Reciprocal wine cases IS the only possible answer.

I vaguely recall the last time this happened Ashes-wise. 1972.

Raymond Illingworth…uncovered pitches…Gentlemen v Players…Basil D’Olivera…stick of rhubarb….

One for each decade of life?

He’s taken up Solitaire?

That’s right. Four exclamation marks.

Patience.

And now the football scores. Arsenal 2, Tottenham Hotspur 2. Tottenham retain the three points because they beat Arsenal last time.

I have been spending the last few weeks explaining to some Australians that there is no such thing as a retain, and that the word they’re looking for is “draw”. A retain is the same as a draw, except you have to continue shelling out for trophy polish. This expense is apparently worth an explosion of glitter and some champagne.

But I know what you’re all asking. “What happens with The Bet, Bert?”, you’re all saying. “In such circumstances as this, a draw, what do the Laws of The Bet say about the distribution of red wine?” Well, thanks for asking. I can tell you that despite this being the first draw in the entire history of The Bet (est. 2002), the Laws have been clear throughout:

Law 17 – The Draw
17.1 In the case of a drawn series, both parties shall cough up. That is, a dozen bottles of wine shall go from the Australian to the Englishman, and vice versa.
17.2 Think about it. The alternative is nobody having any wine, and what’s the point of that, eh?
17.3 And what the hell is a retain in any case? That’s not a thing.

I say, with the County Championship title race neck and neck, the climax is just approaching.