Posted by 
Our mum writes:
Had an early tea in preparation for the long journey to the ground (five minutes’ walk round the corner). Noticed in passing an excellent crop of sloes in the hedgerow – will know where to come if our own fall short for the gin in the autumn.
On arrival at the ground spotted some expensive ironmongery in the car park – must belong to the opposition. We were pleasantly surprised by the clubhouse, which had undergone elements of refurbishment since our last visit. Unfortunately, the improvements did not include the provision of cask ale so we reluctantly ordered a couple of pints of tasteless, over-chilled smoothflow.
During Davenham’s innings KC’s dad chatted with an old friend, left-handed batsman Keith. They were playing in the same team when KC was born. He tried to persuade KC’s dad to dust off his kit. Became peripherally aware that Grappenhall did not seem to be suffering from the absence of their opening bowler. On this occasion Wasim Akram was not really needed.
At the end of the match, we returned to the clubhouse. The opposition’s skipper held the door for me – nice bloke that Neil Fairbrother. The players then enjoyed home-made hotpot with beetroot and we headed for home as the sun set behind the sightscreen.
Will there be any spare sloe gin? Was the beetroot hot too? Very sadly there is a pic of food beneath the excellent report but it is of sushi and not hotpot.
And O King – King Bobby of Kent on Twitter answering questions – I asked him if he had seen the Greatest Robert Key post. Response? “Denlys seen that and puts it up on the computer.”
We saw that, Ceci. We are hovering, unable to make contact.
It is like being in a bar and there’s a girl you fancy in there. All your friends are talking to her, but you don’t want to go over cause you know you’ll only make a prick of yourself.
Very nice match report, Mrs. Cricket. I didn’t know you were a regular reader of your lad’s work. Sorry about all the swearing and stuff. Won’t do it again.
I’ve never been to Davenham, but Grappenhall’s a fine club. Super Friday night barbecues, ideal when watching the randomness that is U9s cricket. And I can confirm that the car park there has a couple of Bentleys and a Ferrari. So you’re right about that one.
Sorry again.
With the greatest of respect, ma’am, the mention of Neil Fairbrother is entirely superfluous to a King Cricket match report and is the sort of name-dropping that would get us lesser mortals flamed.
But in all other respects an absolutely spiffing match report, ma’am. His majesty is clearly a chip off the old block.
What is it with King/Queen mums and G&T I wonder?
Awesome name-drop from the Queen Mother.
Cracking report, nonetheless. Do you like swan? Or Swann, even? Or both?
I’ll consider my wrists gently slapped for the name dropping.
Ceci: spare sloe gin unlikely and the beetroot was cold.
D Charlton: I like both types of swan – one for its regal beauty and the other for its cricket skills and sense of humour.
I was surprised to find beetroot as a side accompanyment to haggis at a recent wedding reception. Clearly our little burgundy friends are the flavour of the month accross the UK.
The proliferation of our slavic cousins (and nothing wrong with that) has pushed the price of the formerly humble beetroot sky high in London. Same thing has happened to small flats in posh neighbourhoods.
The price shoots up and then everybody wants them. That’s fashion.
Dedicated follower of fashion, that Neil Fairbrother. Always was.
I hate beetroot.