Top statting.

Who did so futilely well in 1965 that they needed to be excluded?

That last remark of yours shows you in a very bad light, Mike.

Winter draws on.

To be fair it’s southern twats vs. southern twats down here. Drawtastic.

BAD LIGHT. Shove that up yer arse, you southern twats!

In perhaps a final throw of the dice, they have brought on ‘Dial M’ (for) Murtagh, so often the cidermen’s tormentor, along with the Mighty Magoffin.

Ollie Rayner has other ideas. Does anyone else in the Middlesex attack share his vision?

Luckily, it seems that the redoubtable Hildy and Tregs are repelling the fairer sex’s attempts to end both teams’ impressive run of draws. I’m pleased, naturally, but in the still-possible event of a Somerset defeat, I look forward to you instructing me to forcibly insert the third-person singular neuter pronoun into a bodily orifice more typically used for ejection, Ged. I’m sure that as a gentlemen from the Southern shires, you’ll do so in a far more polite, charming and erudite manner than those northern ruffians like Bert there.

Meanwhile, Somerset are making hard work of the inevitable draw with Centralintercourse at Lord’s, despite both teams devoting their utmost to continuing their respective runs over the first three days. James Harris has even taken a wicket!

Excellent, Bert.

Commiseration and encouragement in equal measure.

None of the rest of us can spake.