We have devised a simple method for generating the name that someone would have were they a West Indian cricketer. After extensive testing (two people) we felt it stood up to scrutiny and we were about to ‘go public’ when we asked a third person.
Using our methodology, his West Indian cricketer name quite genuinely came out as “George Headley” and that pretty much sealed it for us.
So, to find out your West Indian cricketer name, simply take your mother’s maiden name and add the town of your birth. That’s it.
Our name, were we a West Indian cricketer, would be Harris Crewe and our workmate’s would be Duffy Solihull. We can easily imagine that pair opening the bowling. However, we admit this method probably won’t work so well if you were born outside the UK. Sorry about that. But try it anyway.
Murray Solihull
The Solihull brothers – Duffy and Murray – form the backbone of a solid middle-order.
Foxall Leytonstone. Not sure that is a Windies name. More likely to be one of those gentlemen batsmen of the 19th century whose only Test appearance was as England captain
Alarmingly, mine’s Willis Crewe….
Harris Crewe would certainly have represented the West Indies more often, if he hadn’t been kept out of the side by his brother, Willis.
Wilde Leicester
That sounds more like a nickname. But a good one all the same.
Sullivan Billinge.
Not sure about the surname, but I’d be amazed if there aren’t at least seven Sullivan Somethings playing for WI in the next decade.
Vink Laren
Nope, not working for anyone outside the UK. But I can Englishify (or West-Indiesify) it a bit:
Finch McLaren
Could work…
Brown Sydney…
That’s just a euphemism.
And yet, the other way around would have been fine…
I can definitely imagine Rendle Ashford holding down his place in the middle order for some time.
Rendle Folkestone would be fighting for the spot all the way
Warren Rodmersham
I have also heard of different vatiations of this, including your place of birth followed by your middle name and the surname of the american presidant who was in power when you were born followed by your place of birth. This would give me the following variations:
Herzog Sevenoaks
Sevenoaks Williams (I added the S as it sounds better)
Reagan Sevenoaks
Stewart Stirling. Sounds like, for Scots, this might more like a New Zealand cricket name generator.
I’m the younger brother of the three – Cavanagh Crewe. perhaps I’ll be called upon by my big brother to bowl underarm at a crucial moment and so live in infamy in the cricketing world.
The Crewe dynasty.
Surely, Crewe Crew.
The Crewe clan seems to be rather hefty.
I believe Nixon Alexei Mcnamra McClean (of Evenwood CC and West Indies)’s parents applied part of Price’s method, so we could end up with a circular reference (or something).
Naylor Wisbech by the way.
What would happen if a West Indian cricketer tried to find out what his West Indian cricketer name was? Would the universe implode?
I am unbelievably happy with McCormick Hastings. Surely a slightly iffy keeper, if ever I heard of one.
“And that’s a bad miss from McCormick Hastings. Rendle Ashford’s livid about that.”
Vivian Hexham – but I cannot imagine a great West Indian cricketer being called Vivian as a first name. That would be absurd.
Bloke at work: Hatfield Babylon. (the road he was born on).
Yes.
“Mindless batting from Hatfield Babylon. He’s left his team in real trouble now. Sullivan Billinge will have strong words for him when he gets back to the dressing room.”
This is just a thinly veiled attempt to survey where your readers are from in an attempt to geographically optimize the adverts, isn’t it?
Anyway, mine’s Johnson Leicester. I see my brother Wilde’s already chipped in.
In addition to your mothers maiden name, there is a lot of fun to be had by supplying the following details about yourself:
NAME OF YOUR FIRST SCHOOL
WHERE YOU WERE BORN
WHERE YOUR MOTHER WAS BORN
WHERE YOUR FATHER WAS BORN
NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET
INTERNET BANKING USER NAME
INTERNET BANKING PASSWORD
PIN NUMBER
PIN Number?
For shame.
But using my grandmother’s maiden name (which I never use for passwords or financial stuff):
Krasey Camberwell
Not bad.
Yes, I will use my grandmother’s and father’s data for this, which gives me the wonderful
Simons Leytonstone.
My father’s would be Angwin St. Just
Ah, Angwin St. Just.
He can be captain.
If that’s the st. Just in Cornwall, how on earth have you managed to use the Internet?
Actually, the extra fingers make it easier.
You can do it with real cricketers as well. Andrew Strauss becomes Smythe-Fotheringhamshawe Thecolonies.
None of these names have an Indian ring to it. Where are the Baraths, the Shivnaraines, the Ramadhins and the Kalicharans? Sorry to burst your bubble, KC, but this generator is an epic swing and a miss.
Who says it doesn’t work for those outside the UK? I am Gauri Nagpore, which sounds 100% Trinidadian.
(Ok, so I have used the Raj-era spelling of the town, but that is precisely when the Indo-trinis left home)
It’s West Indies, not West Indian btw.
If you do Kyle Hogg the Ged (using grandparents’ names) way, you get Ramadhin (Sunny) Birmingham, addressing Deep Cower’s fundamental problem to boot.
Someone should pay me to solve all these problems.
WG Grace becomes Pocock Downend:
http://www.frenchay.org/grace.html
I suggest that Pocock Downend should open the batting with my alter-ego Krasey Camberwell.
Least you can do for me (and the ghost of WG) in the circumstances, KC.
Deal.
I used to live near downend. The shopping centre has a sort of w.g. grace facade.
Yeah, this isn’t going to work very well in America, considering my alter ego is Carlson Minneapolis. Very much more a travel company than an opening batsman.
Baxter Reading…. yes I can see Baxter bowling a slow chinaman.
Gruenwald Newcastle
Do I win a prize?
That’s only slightly better than Dodda Ganesh. You’ll spend all your cricketing life carrying water and towel to Ged’s Ramadhin (Sunny) Birmingham.
Smith Solihull – doesn’t quite work, but with my grandmother’s maiden name – Marshall Solihull. Much better.
Will? I think I know you. Birmingham Hippodrome front of house circa 2002?
“Here comes Fitzgeorge Wycombe to tweak some leggies in the last over before lunch”.
Fitton Oldham.
Great. I’ll now put accents to words of everyone who has posted on this thread.
Garratt Walsall. Pretty shit really. I’d never get past the ‘A’ squad.
Nah, we like that one. Garratt Walsall comes on first-change, but is actually quicker than the two opening bowlers.
Whitley Stockton. Yeah, sounds about right 😀
Left-arm spin. Bowls a good arm ball.
I’d be (using the first formula) Lovett Pontypool, (second formula) Lovett Gerard or (third formula) Reagan Pontypool.
However, changing it to where I spent my formative years gives me the rather-better Lovett Headington.
Lovett Headington definitely sounds more credible.
What’s your team so far, KC? And what does each do?
We’re not going to pick until we’ve seen the full talent pool.
One thing’s for sure though, this side will be unbeatable.
Vink Laren is brilliant.
Smart Bristol – nah, don’t like it, not even drinks carrier.
Mr CowPoncho, however, produces Waddington Rotherham, any potential?
Waddington Rotherham will definitely get a few overs. Bats a bit too.
Mr CowPoncho certainly bats a bit. He has modelled his batting mindset on that of Sir Geoffrey (or Speight Fitzwilliam according to your generator and Wikipedia)
My girlfriend’s would be Toole Cheshire
Fenton Southport – works for me
Dashing left-hander.
Oh and my dad’s is a classic –
Gaskell St Helens
The St is always a worthwhile addition.
This comments section is EPIC.
Matthews Truro. Think I prefer Truro Matthews.
A disappointingly implausible “Fearn Loughborough.”
a better result is obtained from the generation-shift formula – “Harris Chesterfield”.
The much more widely-know version of this generator is to use the US President of the year you were born, followed by the street on which you grew up, in which case mine is Clinton Parks.
Clinton? Do your parents know you’re up this late?
It must be all the Halloween candy. Do you have a secret stash, Howe_zat?
I’ve been misinformed. Should be Bush. Never rely on your housemates for information, wikipedia far superior.
Howe_zat:
Reagan Botteville
Murrell Acton. Bats at 7. Doesn’t really bowl.
Buttsworth Subiaco
Buttsworth Subiaco. You’d have to find room for him in the team, no matter what his limitations.
Buttsworth Subiaco.
Cranford Aberystwyth doesn’t really work, does it?
Not as a West Indian cricketer name, but by God it works otherwise.
Seymour Plymouth
I see Seymour as 20-20 wicketkeeper. Neither keeping nor batting up to Test standard, but can (occasionally) produce a rapid-fire fifty. A West Indian Craig Kieswetter.
Talking of which, how about separate teams for Tests, one days and 20-20?
Copley Fremantle
Great fielder and useful spin bowler but threw his wicket away too often.
Wedgwood Yarm – erratic fast bowler
West Doncaster.
Not entirely convinced by this.
Baker Livingston.
Conjures up the image of a richly moustached 70’s porn star to me…
Sounds more like a private detective to us.
Could be both.
Bradley Lancaster: erratic fast bowler, and one of those amusing swing-wildly-at-everthing tail end batsmen.
Golightly Aberystwyth.
No more plausible than Cranford Aberystwyth, though it does sound like a ballad.
My mother is Roy Valetta, a private dick if ever I heard one.
Can’t believe how many siblings there are. Our readership seems to originate in pockets around the country.
You can use British Prime Ministers instead of US presidents. That way, Daisy produces the formidable Eden Chamberlayne, who is unquestionably a pace bowler of some ferocity. Surely one of the first names on the team sheet.
Using the same method, I yield the lacklustre Macmillan Woodfield or his US-facing brother Kennedy Woodfield. Sadly, both of mine are cricketers who promise far more than they deliver – Kennedy in particular plays a couple of eye-catching T20 innings and then he vanishes without trace. Not even in the mix for selection IMHO.
Hayward Cheltenham. I’m not sure…
Davies Stafford.
Hmmm.
What was the last KC thread to reach 100 comments?
Slightly disappointed with Todd Farnborough. The missus comes up as Heaney Dunfermline though, which for some reason makes me chuckle.
Todd Farnborough sounds like a flash-in-the-pan pop singer.
Now I can only think of Todd Farnborough in the X factor announcers voice.
I would love to make the 100th appeal
Since the English are all asleep, I like my chances.
Just going to get a cuppa before bringing up the ton.
And Buttsworth Subiaco brings up his hundred with a lofted drive for six over extra cover.
Great knock, Subiaco. Great knock.
That’s another 5fer Ranasinghe Colombo. He is on fire at Galle.
Welchman Roehapmton, I reckon a beanpole who was lazy enough to bowl spin a la Sulieman Benn.
Thiyagarajan Pudokottai.
Who said it doesn’t work if you aren’t from the UK?
After giving most serious and protracted consideration to all methods, my favoured contribution is Wilson Alexander (British pm + street). Think this rather trumps the frankly disappointing Hodge Canterbury/Page Canterbury efforts (grandmother’s maiden names -using my mother’s isn’t any more satisfactory, sadly).
I must be honest, I’m feeling Potential Performance Squad at best after this exercise, KC.
Goodall Coventry – possibly the first time ‘good’ and ‘Coventry’ have been used together?
McLeod Wellington
Not so much
Wallace Weston-Super-Mare? I’d certainly be interested to see how the TV coverage would abbreviate the name, anyway…
Hutching St Athan
Def a 90mph merchant imo:)
“Mearing Reading” ready to bowl
Actually, if I go with the hospital I become Mathews Treliske.
Still not as good as string’s mind.
My father would be Collins Croydon, which has a certain ring to it, but mine would be very silly indeed. Even reversed it is daft, Amersham Biltcliffe.
Godwin Oxford – a sneaky medium-pacer who proudly boasts a batting average of 2.
Rather late to the game, but thought i’d chip in! Buist Darfield, dashing young all-rounder whose career was tragically cut short by injury.
He showed such promise.
Really Good
‘Domingo Bangalore’ & in the tradition of solid Indo/Windies cricketers, holds up that no. 5/6 batting position (aka. A. Kallicharan) to ensure there is no respite once the top order has pilled on 350+!!!