I feel like one thing that’s been missed is that Hazlewood alone trumps all the England bowlers in terms of accuracy.

So they don’t even have supreme accuracy

Very fair yer maj. Better to make your “interesting” opinions more about your good self. On this basis, The Universe Boss might be an excellent coach.

Another year without a middle order of Stokes, Woakes, Foakes. Why does the Lord continue to punish us?

Not sure this achieves that. He’s setting the bowlers high standards to live up to and they’ll be the ones who are judged.

I think coaches are duty-bound to be quotable, because media attention on them is media attention turned away from the player, while still better than the sport ducking the attention of the public eye altogether. Mouthslippages which are both quotable and “brave” are particularly valuable in this regard. I’d agree that players should try to avoid being too “interesting” unless, at those moments when the pressure they’re paid to cope with is turned on, they have an elitely supreme skill-set for blocking out the inevitable, irrelevant, extraneous and partly self-inflicted media-related pressure. Which at critical moments the crowd is wont to remind them of. Not a terribly pleasant deal for the coaches, but they partly get paid to cop the flak so the players don’t have to.

The battle for elite supremacy.

We’re not targeting him. Just highlighting how he unavoidably will be whenever things go wrong.

This is why you should never say interesting things.