Glamorgan’s pitch for the first Ashes Test

Some of you might have seen that Glamorgan were docked two points for producing a duff pitch. This is at the beautifully monikered Swalec Stadium, where the first Ashes Test is due to take place.

‘Oh no,’ people have said. ‘What if the pitch for the Ashes is sub-standard?’

These people are missing the point.

If ‘the point’ is sellotaped to the door of the fridge, these people are wandering blindfold round Dorothy Perkins. They’re slowly approaching the top of an escalator and not a year – not a year! – goes by when we don’t hear about some poor soul falling down an escalator at Dorothy Perkins because they were wearing a blindfold.

Glamorgan were docked those two points because the pitch in question offered what was deemed to be ‘excessive’ turn. Quite apart from the fact that huge turn is always a plus point, England’s best bowling attack features two spinners, while Australia’s features none.

So we say: come on Glamorgan, take a series of two-point deductions for a good cause.