And ‘smear to leg’.

If he does, and not that other one, then let’s hope the bowlers are easy on him or that’s everything at Square Leg toasted.

Puts a whole new slant on “defensive shot”.

I once dated a girl called Mary Le Boner.

She was a bit stiff.

Thanks very much.

According to the Aberdeen Bestiary…

Now there’s a paragraph opener you don’t hear / read enough.

A valuable and welcome contribution.

Doesn’t Bonnacon bat at three for Lancs?

PS I did sign up for your statistical insights and await them eagerly.

The First Class Counties XI is not playing New Zealand this week as suggested at the start of this piece. It is playing New Zealanders.

There is an important distinction between a team formally representing a country and a random collection of more or less (or even exactly) the same people playing folk of a different level from themselves in some sort of a warm up match.

The MCC exists in part to maintain the laws and standards of our game.

Yours sincerely

A Maryleboner

I don’t know the reason for having silly made-up animals on flags and such is, but if you want a mythical creature, how about the Bonnacon? Basically a bull with a horse’s mane and ingrowing horns, and it has one epic attribute.

According to the Aberdeen Bestiary, it’s curly horns are useless as self-defence, but to make up for it in oodles, it farts (or maybe poops) summat seriously terrible over an area of three acres, which is getting on for the size of a small cricket ground. Not wishing to be prophetic or anything.

To be honest, I only posted this as I get to talk about a mythical creature whose most feared trait is its WMD bum-hole.

Get back to Chillfurrow Farm!