England

Has Alastair Cook stood down as England captain yet?

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Cricket - Investec Second Test - England v New Zealand - Headingley Carnegie Cricket Ground, Leeds, England

Only we’ll have to get something up about it pretty darn sharpish if he does. Our readers will doubtless have much to say about such a development.

Maybe we could publish some sort of ‘holding post’ instead, floating the possibility that Cook might stand down without actually stating that this has happened.

Latest:

  • Alastair Cook is ‘preparing’ to stand down – The Telegraph
  • Alastair Cook is ‘edging’ towards the exit – also The Telegraph
  • Alastair Cook ‘ready’ to stand down – The Cricket Paper

He’s Schrodinger’s England captain.

Similar deliveries:

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8 comments

  2. Only we’ll have to get something up about it pretty darn sharpish if he does.

    So the issue here is not that, if Cook is going or not but rather that if he left (as opposed to staying on) it gives very less reaction time for an analysis piece. So it must be pre-empted by a think-piece that claims to read into his mind & know that he is close to quitting.

    Not a co-incidence that I am yet to see a post which claims that Cook is unlikely to quit because that merely maintains the status quo and hence is not news worthy.

  3. Now that he has or maybe hasn’t gone, it’s time for a celebratory Clerihew.

    Alastair Cook
    Rode his luck
    And the wins he scored
    Were far more reliant on the presence of Anderson and Broad

    Which is all well and good, but is unsatisfying in a very specific way. It is only in the last ten years of my life that the first two lines would rhyme. So here is another Clerihew, this time from before the Great Vowel Shift.

    Alastair Cook
    Won by fluke
    And in his treatment of KP
    He acted like he was suffering from a case of scrapie

    That’s better, and because Alastair Cook lives on a sheep farm, very possibly accurate.

  4. I’m hearing reports that Alastair Cook has resigned!

    Erm, I’m sorry, my hearing is terrible. What’s actually happened is that Alice, the cook (at the local pub) has installed a fresh set of signage within the restaurant, to freshen up the image of the place.

    My mistake.

  5. There was a young captain named Cook
    Who learned all he knew from a book
    The book fell to bits
    He was left with his wits
    And he let out a cry of ‘Oh dear.’

  6. Sneaking this in at the end of the post when no one is looking, I’d have thought it would be better if Cook stands down after the ashes.

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