Here’s a moment from the final scene when Geoff finds himself surrounded by a gang of maize.

Okay, we’ll admit that’s a lie. Boycott’s Triffids film is being kept closely under wraps and they would never give away crucial plot information like this.

The photo is actually from a press release we received last July about York maze. We’ve only just got round to reporting on it because, well, you know, that’s just how we do things round here.

Obviously you’ve missed it now, but it seems that in 2014 they made a big old Geoff face maize maze.

Here it is.

And here’s a picture of Geoff with his two best friends shortly after tackling the maze. These are genuinely his best friends and it’s entirely coincidence that they both happen to be maize.

Join us tomorrow for something.

Animal testing facilities have recently taken to using cricketers in place of guinea pigs, mice and the like.

They make them joust and then the loser gets his leg taken off.

Don’t ask why.

“Here it is!”

“It was tucked between two of my rolls of flab.”

No-one was quite sure what it was, but everyone agreed that it was very clear that the stumps suddenly seemed like they were going to explode.

Billy Bowden backed away. Monty Panesar attempted to protect himself with his oversized hands and AB de Villiers just threw himself to the ground.

On no account stand six feet away from the stumps and watch the blimp instead.

Canny bowlers will take advantage.

The batting side only gets five penalty runs added to their total when the ball hits a helmet belonging to the fielding side.

You can’t just repeatedly play the ball into your own face and hope to win a match.

Sam writes:

“Here is a picture of Ian Bell attempting to grow a little beard.

“Look at the concentration on his face. It’s dedication like this that shows just how far English cricket has come.”

We asked Sam if he had a beard. Sam never got back to us about that.

It was only a matter of time before they introduce BIGGER and therefore BETTER balls.

But the Miami Vice style attire? That’s a step too far.

“So I curl up behind him like this and then you give him a shove.”

India’s clown tactics were all well and good in theory, but when it came to carrying them out with an actual batsman present, everyone got confused and Sourav Ganguly ended up with a black eye.

“Voila!”

Brilliant, Fred. It’s a cricket ball. We’ve all seen a cricket ball before.

What’s next in your box of tricks? A bat? A box?