How often do you get ‘snow stopped play’?

We’ve attended a County Championship match on a double trousers day before. Sitting still, steadily losing heat throughout the day, you don’t quite realise how cold you are until your bone marrow turns solid.

You don’t know what that feels like? You’ll know it when it happens.

Ravi Rampaul didn’t mind the cold. They always make out like it’s extra tough for West Indians, as if they’re a different species or something. The truth is, Ravi’s well padded – and not in the ‘preparing to bat’ sense. He has valuable insulation for when the mercury starts to plummet and this is what allowed him to take 5-85 against Somerset.

Or maybe he was just well prepared. Maybe he washes his balls in iced water like that Russian guy who sauntered off despite having been shot in the head in the Pine Barrens episode of The Sopranos. Meanwhile the rest of us are left shivering, smarting from poison ivy and squeezing sachets of ketchup and mustard into our mouths in our desperate bid to survive the harsh conditions.

Marcus Trescothick made 127 in the same match. He’s pretty well padded too.