everybody knows the hover captions are the best bit of this website

You’re scrutinising the captions now? Is there no escape?

I’m not sure about that, Bert. His very nature is unscary. You could say the same thing about Sangakarra. Bell has been a much more potent batsmen since he ditched the faux-aggro.

While I don’t think anyone will noticeably quake in the boots about Bell, I reckon he’ll keep people awake at night. He’s a strangler, not an axe murderer.

These loosely connected thoughts clearly demonstrate that I haven’t really woken up this year.

…you know…

…too late?

You don’t seem to consider the possibility that there’s a complicatd rating system at work here; one that’s of infinite complexity and which offers greater insight than any decision based on mere human perception.

No, wait a minute. That isn’t all I’ve got to say on the matter. The very idea of Lord Megachief of Gold, even though you made it up and so can decide unilaterally what the very idea of it is, is that opponents need to be properly scared of the LMCOG Laureate. Bowlers were scared of Chanderpaul; batsmen were scared of Dale Steyn. Who on earth is scared of Ian Ronald Bell? Even though he averaged 100+ last year, do you really think that opposition captains gee their teams up by telling them they need to focus on combatting Ian Bell? No, they don’t. It is in Bell’s essence that he isn’t even slightly scary. His Warwickshire teammates might consider their team nickname to imply grizzly, or brown, or polar, but in IRB’s case it is quite clearly teddy.

Happy New Year, by the way.

We’re sleeping a lot more since we started having an opinion on something. It’s clearly exhausting us. We wouldn’t recommend it.