Here are the only four cricket things we can immediately think of that are worse than England’s 2021/22 Ashes campaign

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Well that was bad, wasn’t it? Unless you’re Australian, in which case that was great, wasn’t it? For a bit. And then maybe not so much. Maybe just a bit hollow by the end. But still slightly great because, you know, residual sense of the Ashes’ importance still. Just about.

The obvious question today is this: Has any cricket thing ever been worse than this England tour? The impulse is to say no, but with just a tiny bit of thought, we have come up with as many as four things. Doubtless there are more.

1. Most of England’s one-day cricket before 2015

Easy to forget, but this kind of chaotic smothering underwhelmment is actually a thing England practised for many a year, peaking for World Cups. In 1999 they were knocked out before their official song came out. They were playing at home.

2. “A holiday money can’t buy”

Speaks for itself.

3. The cricket bat weasels

Creepy af.

4. The cricket bat fox


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  1. Where’s the holiday taking place? It looks like it’s a tiny uninhabited atoll, with no food, water or shelter. From the look on Hayden’s face, he knows where his first meal’s coming from, and he’s already working out how to use the leftovers to make a tent.

  2. England’s 2013/14 Ashes campaign
    England’s 2006/07 Ashes campaign
    England’s 1993 Ashes campaign
    England’s 1989 Ashes campaign

    With maybe an honourable mention for England’s 2001 Ashes campaign and England’s 1994/95 Ashes campaign

  3. What’s the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

    You can weaselly tell because they’re stoatally different.

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