Of course there’s such a thing as a crested salmon. They’re a bit bigger than the uncrested salmon, and have a different coloration. Typically, they’re two to three hundred feet in length, and generally a sort of reddish-brown colour. They live mostly on land, anchoring themselves into the ground and standing vertically. They eat coal, and excrete by belching carbon dioxide from their upper orifice. They have few natural predators today, but were predated almost to the point of extinction by the lesser spotted Dibnah.

I wonder if KC meant that a long Finn looks like a crest?

He bows out with this line:
“What was meant to happen was Rod said we’d share the keeping in that match and I said ‘Rod, I’ve been around for 15 years, if you want me to go out and give you the energy, the perfect keeping game, I’ll go and do that but if you know what’s going to happen cut the bullshit and tell us – don’t play one off against the other because you know after 15 years what I can do’.”

Yes, the perfect keeping game. Never more evident than when he perfectly dropped Joe Root on 0 at Cardiff.

https://twitter.com/TheCricketGeek/status/641571427666280448

Yorkshire are going to be champions – boldly calling this now.

If you use a regular bowline knot at each end, I estimate (based on some experiments with some polyprolene twine found in a drawer at my work) that you would need an extra 3 ft off rope.

Based on those calculations, you would need 8 ft in total to keep Steve Finn in place while allowing him to dive for a catch to dismiss Steve Smith. Or you could post him at short mid-off on the Trent Bridge Principle that he will soon drill it straight into your hands.

Yeah but that’s not including the amount needed to a) tie round his ankle and b) tether to the ground somehow.

Nice work with Pythagoras’ Theorem there.

I’ve not, but I have heard the phrase ‘those weeping Aussies smell like crusted salmon’.

We knew someone would take issue with the fact that there’s no such thing as a crested salmon.

It’s almost as if you’ve never heard the phrase ‘leap like a crested salmon’ before.