It was enjoyable to see the orange protesters mostly stopped by the orangest players in the England XI though. The spectators didn’t like it though – clearly too orangey for crowds.

‘Up let him [redacted] it’ is a fabulous construction even in isolation.

“He’s not doing it right! He’s not doing it right! We have to tell him!”
“Oh, up let him [redacted] it.”

There once was a batsman called Duckett
Who battered all bowlers who chuck it
But to get him out
You need not do owt
But bounce him and then let him [fail to duck under the delivery despite his name]

When do they read out the Ben Duckett one?

When does the World Cup start?

Just Stop (subsisting solely on b)Oil(ed vegetables of you want to properly orangify cricket pitches).

There’s no way Bairstow could’ve lifted a properly-fed human. Perhaps these so-called “protesters” with their concern for the so-called “planet” might want to think about that in their next so-called “recruiting drive”. Imagine if it had been Rob Key, for example. He could have carried on orangifying the pitch with Bairstow, Root and Broad all clinging on to a leg each. Just Stop Dieting, that’s what I say.