It’s a low bar.

I think that’s your best ever comment on here.

Haydenfreude

Nothing more annoying to a top order batsman than being clean bowled. Stuart Broad.

There would be no question of the squad missing out on any preferred bubbling mud pools. They’ll have The Night-Hawk with them.

No petty official would be denying The Night-Hawk and his pals access to a mud pool. No way. The squad will not only see the pools, The Night-Hawk will organise some super-awesome mud fights at the best of the pools.

England might regret wasting that fifteen minutes. It’s about an hour’s drive to Rotorua from Tauranga, well worth the trip, and that extra fifteen minutes might make all the difference in how many bubbling mud pools they can get round on Sunday afternoon.

Imagine how silly they’ll all feel if they miss out on one of the better bubbling mud pools.

But in my humble opinion you have not pinpointed the most night-hawkish, nor the most “quintessentially Stuart Broad” aspect of his innings so far.

The “Broadest” incident was soon after the matter of the vertically descending pink missile between the indecisive keeper Blundell and the equally indecisive bowler Kuggeleijn. Because that incident was the last ball of the over and Broad took a run for that miss, retaining the strike.

Let us ignore the next ball – an angry ball delivered by Southee that hurtled away for four byes, adding to Blundell’s anguish.

The ball after that struck Broad on the body and grazed the helmet. Broad then took pains to have the full concussion test and reject the first replacement helmet brought on for him, taking up nearly 10 minutes of the 15 minutes remaining in the day’s play. THAT surely was the most annoying thing a nigh-hawk could possibly have done in those circumstances. How Broad kept a straight face during that interlude I have no idea, other than to concede that he is THE MASTER of being annoying.

Thus he survives to fight another day. Who is to say how annoying he might be when play resumes at the start of Day Three. After all, the job of the night-hawk is not simply to be annoying as the close of play approaches. It is also, ideally, to continue to be annoying the next day.

Stuart Broad.