For those bemused by these references, KC’s piece about “things older than Rehan Ahmed” can be enjoyed here:

https://www.kingcricket.co.uk/six-things-older-than-rehan-ahmed/2022/12/21/

My cricket troos is but one example in the piece.

But the relative antiquity of my cricket troos is no longer a matter of debate, Sam. They have been subjected to a modern form of carbon dating (silicon dating) and can be unequivocally identified in my possession and on the field of play in June 2001. Rehan Ahmed was born in August 2004.

With any luck, they will select Rehan Ahmed for the next Test so we can once again debate whether he really is younger than Ged’s old cricket troos.

Andrew Miller’s editorial piece on Cricinfo, though long, sums up the topic well:

https://www.espncricinfo.com/story/ashes-2023-forget-the-frivolous-narrative-bazball-is-a-hard-nosed-winning-strategy-1382773

It is possible, Bert, to applaud a modern approach to the game of cricket while also nurturing a love of early music and a tendency to retain old pairs of trousers.

Sandwiches, or sand wedges?

It makes sense to them, that older way of playing. It’s something they can understand. Results don’t matter, all that is important is that test cricket continues to be exactly the same as it used to be. The same is true for sandwiches, and music, and trousers, and the colour of your neighbours. It’s why standard golf attire is essentially smart-casual from 1970.

Quite. Think England should aim to be merely ridiculously bad next Test and waltz to victory.

This is what these people say when a change in approach has taken England from uncommonly awful to achieving unprecedented feats basically overnight. Imagine what they’d be saying if England were, say, only 50% better than 18 months ago.

‘Sensible cricket trumps brainless Bazball’
‘Declaring on the first day with Root still piling on the runs was foolish’
‘I like Ben Stokes, but that was ridiculously bad captaincy’
‘Bazball isn’t genius – it’s recklessness’
‘Bring back Mark Wood, who offers genuine pace’

All of these letters were signed Capt. J.P. Dibcock (retd.), and all were postmarked Godalming. At least, I assume they were. It’s not like I’ve actually read the Telegraph’s letters page. These are just quotes from that repository of righteous anger that came up on my MSN feed.

Some context. England lost by two wickets.

How bad do you have to think the #1 ranked team and current test world champions are, that they could only beat a side who were brainless, foolish, ridiculously bad, reckless and lacking in genuine pace by two wickets? Imagine if we’d only been brainless and foolish; we’d have won by an innings!

Some Gilbert and Sullivan to finish:

Be eloquent in praise
Of the very dull old days
Which have long since passed away
And convince ’em, if you can
That the reign of good Queen Anne
Was Culture’s palmiest day
Of course you will pooh-pooh
Whatever’s fresh and new
And declare it’s crude and mean
For Art stopped short
In the cultivated court
Of the Empress Josephine

Nobody has written poetry that good since 1881, and nobody ever will.

Wondering if we can ask the boards to skip this series and only hold the Ashes in Australia so all this gut-wrenching tension and despair happens while we’re asleep.